Friday, December 31, 2010

Berbudilah kepada Tanah

Ignore the title.
.
So we all bid farewell to 2010. Let's review my 2010 shall we?
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January 2010:
Waiting patiently for March to come.
Discussion every Tuesday night at Sushi King Sooka for Iju-Jimie's wedding.
YM with Mary in the office everyday.
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February 2010:
Waiting not so patiently for March to come.
Iju-Jimie's wedding was a total blast. Everyone had fun.
And for the first time in my life, I didnt fall wearing heels.
YM with Mary in the office...yes everyday.
.
March 2010:
March came!!! Me and Iju we said bye bye to Mohamed Ridza & Co. Damn it was a relief!
Ayah got super pissed off. Spent the whole night driving and talking to Hairi in tears.
27/3/2010 - my significant date.
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April 2010:
Officially unemployed. Sending resumes like sending wedding cards.
Ibu's bibik at home.
.
May 2010:
Officially a solicitor in Cheang & Ariff. Can no longer YM with Mary.
Iju got in as well in Edlin Ghazaly on the same day.
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June 2010:
Jakarta retreat.
2 years of studying officially ended in this month.
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July 2010:
Amy's wedding.
The only one excluded for the Pangkor trip. Demm~
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August 2010:
The first Ramadhan as someone's other half.
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September 2010:
My birthday.
My first Syawal as someone's other half.
Trip to PD was awesome though it was only for a short period of time.
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October 2010:
Listened to Maher Zain for the first time.
My LLM convocation took place.
The month that made me realized that I cant no longer be like this.
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November 2010:
Trip to Langkawi was planned.
Got excited about it.
Figured that few people are just anal.
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December 2010:
Trip to Langkawi cancelled. Demm~
Went to someone's house introduced to as someone's other half.
Googled Manggis Production.
.
.
.
Yawn~

Thursday, December 30, 2010

Things Arent Always How We Want Them to Be

"when you are getting married kang jgn lupa jemput aku eh"
.
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Breaks my heart
.
.
That sentence
.
.
Each and every word
.
.
How I wish that things will be just how they used to
.
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But I know we cant get everything in life
.
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Things are different now I know. But it changes nothing. You and I, we are still friends.
.
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And yes, you are invited to my wedding
.
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Do come

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Dios, ayúdame

No ignorar el título.
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Me siento realmente como alguien dar una bofetada de buena perra. Como realmente.
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Es la persona más snob que he conocido. Aún más interesante, él es mi miembro de la familia!!!!
.
Mierda~

I'm doing it because IT IS my work. I'm no Paris Hilton

Dont ignore the title, it does mean something.
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So, people know how kiatsu I am when it comes to my job. I am completely a different person the moment I step into the office. I dont go chit chatting whenever I feel bored, I dont find any pleasure of gossiping with any of my fellow mates. I just dont.
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Yeah, so I guess I am that boring.
.
People always wonder, how come my job seems and sounds far more stressful compared to others? They are lawyers too..well, I dont want to comment on that cz for me, it is subjective. It depends on what sort of portfolio you are carrying with you.
.
Yeah, I am that boring.
.
"tak payah nk keje kuat2 sgt..nnt dh kawen tempat kt dapur jugak"
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Sounds familiar aint it?
.
This is my public declaration:
.
You are a complete dimwit for having that thought in that sorry brain of yours. When we are urged to think outside the box, you find it more comfortable to stay inside your pitiful sty. Your brain fails to develop, your mentality remains stagnant.
.
"tak payah keje kuat2 sgt..nnt dh kawen suami kan ade nk support"
.
This is my public announcement:
.
If it is the God's will that your husband dies, then how? Mau makan apa? Batu bata masak sweet sour? Lalang goreng belacan? Kayu 3 rasa?
.
I dont work because I am forced to. I work because it is the right thing to do. I work because I am no Paris Hilton. I am no heiress. I dont get allowance every month just by spreading my legs and partying. I get paid because I work.
.

Aku ini Wanita Biasa

Ignore the title.
.
Today is Thursday and I'm on leave.
.
Dont yeay first cz for the first time ever I dont feel excited at all. I'm supposed to be somewhere with a bunch of someones having a good something to be enjoyed. But *sigh*...better luck next time.
.
So yeah, I'm on leave today and tomorrow but haih *sigh*
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BUT, I'll meeting my juniors today and I know my day will be better.
.
*still sighing*

Saturday, December 25, 2010

merry Ho Ho Ho!

Ignore the title.
.
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This isn't about Christmas, or the holidays
.
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I think I miss Ciku
.
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Yup yup, I definately miss Ciku
.
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Btw, Haizad is getting married tomorrow and I wont be there to congratulate him
.
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It's been ages since the last time we met
.
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I remember the time when he left us for New Zealand
.
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It was a long wait
.
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Then he came back for a while, for summer break
.
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Then he left again
.
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It was a long wait
.
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The next thing we know, here he was finally coming back home. To us
.
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But our joy didnt last long
.
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He was transferred to Banting
.
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It is a long time
.
.
And now he is getting hitched and I wont be around for it
.
.
Demmit!
.
.
And I still miss Ciku!

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

And I will Pray for you

Nik Suhaimi
1974 - 2010

.I received news about your passing. I was shocked. Indeed shocked.

.I shall never forget your jokes.

.The way you talked.

.The way you laughed.

.I shall never forget.

.Nik Suhaimi bin Nik Hassan.

.May you rest in peace.

.Al-Fatihah.

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Kenang Daku Dalam Doamu

Friends, I dedicate this song for you.
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All of you
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*dont worry, I'm no Alviss Kong*

Friday, December 10, 2010

Again, Why Am I Still Awake?

This is once and for all. Those who are reading, I hope you dont come back to me asking me this stupid question again.
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I mean, why is it so hard for some people to believe it?
.
Just because I sound kinky most of the time with no apparent reason, it doesnt mean that I am that.
.
*inhale*
.
*exhale*
.
Yes I'm still a virgin
Yes I dont drink
Yes I dont masturbate
.
Sorry to dissappoint you but yeah.
.
And stop asking me to go clubbing with you cz trust me, you will be embarassed.

It's Midnite But Why Am I Still Awake?

Do you know how it feels like to use someone to get rid of the feelings that you have for another someone?
.
It sucks
.
Big time
.
I am sorry

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

And I'm Still Turned On

Ignore the title.
.
So I talked to Ciku *bukan nama sebenar* on my way back to sungai buloh. About life, today and the future. I must say, talking to Ciku does enlighten me on certain aspects. How drastically people can change once they have found a purpose in life. How maturity is not only apparent from your conducts but from your thoughts as well.
.
I was taught differently by my old man. I was raised to understand people's needs, to not being bloody judgmental, to feel what is ought to be felt by your brain instead of your heart. I was raised to be normal.
.
Yes I dont know how it feels like to help your family by selling kuih from house to house, or to break your fasts under the street lamps far from your family, or to be a caddy just to pay for your school fees. I dont know anything about that.
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But I understand.
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Because my old man did all of the above without even complaining. He didnt see problems as obstacles but rather opportunities.
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So, coming back to Ciku. Why I said Ciku enlightens me? Because Ciku reminds me of my old man. Ambitious.

When My Blogging mode is turned ON

Ever since I changed the template and almost every single thing about my damn blog, I find my blogging mood kicks in everytime I have the chance to online.
.
I was reading the life of John Lennon when I realized that I sort of abandoned my passion for quality books for quite some times. Instead, I found solace in Ujang and Gila2 (and I know this one particular someone who hates it when I buy them). I started to count every single book that I have and sniffed the pages.
.
I remember how Haji Ismail used to bring home the Star everyday and asked me to read out loud the news. I was eight and reading the Star was a complete hell. He literally forced me to define each word by writing the meaning on top of the sentence. No, he didnt buy me classic storybooks like Cinderella or Beauty and the Beast or Sang Kancil and bla bla bla...he brought me only the Star.
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The passion for reading developed fast. From the Star I moved to light reading materials. I opted for books while my sisters decided to go for magazines. Ujang and Gila2 were forbidden in my room. They were never in my "to-buy-list".
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Things changed I guess. My current career doesnt really provide me with ample times to actually sit down and enjoy the pleasure of reading lines by lines and understanding paragraphs by paragraphs. I spend most of my weekends working and working and more working.
.
So tonight while re-arranging my stuff on the drawer, I came across the life of John Lennon. The book I bought somewhere 2 months back. It does put a smile on my face. Like really.

God, I love Working!

Yessss....from the bottom of my heart~

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

I'm Getting Emo-er Each Entry

If only I have the moral strength to tell it out loud to your face, God trust me I would.
.
I wonder most of the times, what on the mother-fu**er earth do you see in her? All the lies, all the back stabbing..come on!!
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She is whoring her worthless anal self around, being completely twathead, ignoring her own flesh and blood...while you act both characters as mom and dad, running here and there trying to ensure that your kids have a place to sleep and food to eat while you busting your sorry ass working.
.
She does what?
.
FREAKIN' NOTHING!
.
And you, yes YOU..can still be so soft.
.
Funny
.
Really funny
.
Cz like I said earlier, maturity doesnt always come with age.
.
You can be a bloody 40 and still stupid.

Oh Happy Days~






















Here we Go

*Taking a deep...an extremely deep breath*
.
Go!
.
I know people are just being concerned. Thanks really but at least try to understand my situation. It sounds simple, it sounds like it is the right thing to do at this point of time taking into consideration my age and the environment I'm living in. Yes yes, most of my friends have gone through it and the same goes to one of my cuzzies. Owh well, another one in January 2011.
.
It's not that I'm not being sensitive or cautious about the whole thing but like I said, try to be in my shoes for a second. The topic I'm talking about right now is no monkey business. It is not some sort of entertainment that people can just simply ask me to do. It is sacret, it is pure, it is about achieving a purpose in your life. You cant just simply throw yourself into it as if it is for amusement.
.
Like previously mentioned in my earlier entry, I have witnessed a fall. It is not about being afraid to commit or feeling so negatively about the entire idea. It is about finding the right time and the right moment. Now, for me it is no longer about finding the right someone. Someone to be called the oher half as I have already found him. Now, it is all about getting to know one another more, to understand each other's needs, sensitivities and all that..why? Cz you will be spending the rest of your life with him or her. Embarking on a different journey once you have put your soul into it. Like I said, it is no monkey business.
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I want to be ready. Fully prepared. I dont want to merely step into this different world because I was asked to. I need to be ready. Dont get me wrong. Trust me, though I may look masculine/guy-ish/a bit gay from outside, I am actually very feminine/girlish/a bit kinky inside. To be with someone I love is all I can ask for. I just need time.
.
The end

Monday, December 6, 2010

Tsk tsk tsk

It is just retarded to think that maturity doesnt really come with age.
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Funny cz though you were born as the eldest in the family, but the way your brain works seems like an infant.
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You define fun as talking smack about people.
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Wow, that sounds amusing..really!
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How old are you again?
.
25?
.
When?
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Owh, this year??
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Then how come you sound and act like a bloody 15?
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Ahhh, mental constrain is it?
.
*tsk tsk tsk*

Monday, November 29, 2010

Susah

Pegi gym skrg ni kene bajet time properly
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Nape?
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Salah time nnt bertembung ngn makcik2 dan kakak2 yg baru lepas aerobic session kt studio sebelah changing room
.
Nape?
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Bilik air nk mandi bukannyer banyak mane pun
.
Tkde tmpt nk tukar baju
.
Lalu aku pun balik
.
Tak jadi nk mandi sana
.
Nape?
.
Sbb aku pusing kanan nmpk tetek
.
Aku toleh kiri nmpk tetek
.
Kebelakang pun tetek
.
Maigod
.
Feels like I'm in the United Kingdom of Boobies

.......

I see him..even when I close my eyes.
.
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I hear him..even when I choose to be deaf for a while.
.
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I sense him..even when I am all alone.
.
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This is just me
.
.
Who knew
.
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Geli all you want
.
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This is just me

Monday, November 1, 2010

Just a Thought...Nothing Fancy

People ask, how can I be so calm about life? *inclusive of working life*
.
.
My answer:
Life is friggin' short! Enjoy!
.
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People ask, how can I be so cool about dramas?
.
.
My answer:
So long you arent part of them, why bother?
.
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People ask, how can I be so positive about almost everything?
.
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My answer:
God gave you life to live, air to breath, so, what's with the face?
.
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People ask, how can I be so acceptive about myself?
.
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My answer:
There are reasons as to why God created you to be YOU and not someone else. If others cant look at me without being so speculative, if people cant talk to me without being so presumptuos and if masses cant see me without being so fuckin' judgmental....who am I to stop them?
.
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People ask, "arent you afraid it might cause you him?"
.
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My answer:
Jodoh tu kat tangan Tuhan.
.
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My name is Faizura Ismail and I dont live to be anyone's dog.

Monday, October 25, 2010

I Need an Appointment To Breath

Work is crazy. Top 5 things that keep me going:

* Cita-cita Haji Ismail and Hajah Noriza nak lumba sesama sendiri guna tongkat bila dah tua bangka.
.
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* Berborak dgn si sepet
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* Berborak dgn muiz bila mengantuk time drive
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* Teringat situasi pondan2 petronas main gentel2 pusat sesama sendiri
.
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*Arsenal menang games.
.
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Getting back to work is a bitch!

Friday, October 15, 2010

Jiwa Keparat

Otak dah tersangkut di lutut
.
.
Demmit

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Biskut Panda Buat Aku Kinky - Sequel


Terus terang, gua tk pernah dengar pun name biskut ni. Ape ntah lagi makan. Si Sepet *bukan nama sebenar* sibuk canang2 jadah ni kate bile makan setim la, kinky la *motif kinky dgn makanan?*
.
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Semalam gua jd nepal keje time sabtu. Time orang2 semua chill2 kt umah, gua lak terkangkang2 attend signing kt Hartamas. Gua text Sepet suruh dia dtg teman. Ye, tkyah la nk mengharap sgt, dia tu direction illiterate.
.
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Sepet call. Tgh2 borak ngn dia gua nampak amoi ni usung kotak panda tu depan gua. Jenggg! Terus teringat yg si Sepet ni mengidam biskut panda *hamil barangkali*. Lalu konversasi ini berlaku.
.
Gua: "eh, you nak biskut panda tak?"

Beliau: "ade ke jual kt situ?"

Gua: "Ade la kot, ni ade org tgh jinjing kotak tu?"

Beliau: "ermm..bole la. I tknk kotak kecik. I nak kotak besar. Belikan i 5"

Gua: "5!!??? I offer tu kira baikla. Satu cukup"

Beliau: "ok la. belikan satu je"
.
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Gua pun melilau la carik biskut tu. Masuk supermarket pusing2 tk jumpa pun. *abes stok ke?* Tetibe gua teringat yg td gua ade lalu depan japanese products nyer sale. Gua pun try la pg sane, tup2 kotak tu yg gua nmpk dulu. Aiseymen bai, banyak gile kotak biskut panda tu. Gua pun belek2 la sbb ade 3 kaler. Ade merah, pink ngn coklat. Tgh gua baca2 kandungan lemak, kalori dan gula kt kotak tu, ade lak sales person ni dtg bwk bakul. Siap offer gua sebijik. Ingat gua nk borong satu dozen agaknyer. Lalu perbualan ini pun berlaku.
.
Apek: "you suka biskut ni? Ini sedap tau"

Gua: "tktau. Saya tk pernah makan pun"

Apek: "Owh, ini beli untuk adik ke?"

Gua: "Tkla, bukan untuk adik. Ni kalau beli 2 dpt RM25 kan?"

Apek: "ye, bole pilih nak kotak atau tin. You dh kawen ke? Beli untuk anak?"

Gua: "saya belum kawen. Ini untuk boyfriend saya"

Apek: *sengih manje*
.
.
Gua bayar kt kaunter dimana cashier nyer pakai kimono. Lepas bayar gua call Sepet tp dia kekwat tk angkat. Tgh gua jalan nk pg balik tmpt signing, tetibe dia call. Lalu bicara ini ditutur.
.
Gua: "helloooo"

Beliau: "ha, td you call eh?"

Gua: *monolog----> dh kalau ade miss call tu hape?* "ye, nak bgtau yg i dh beli biskut panda you"

Beliau: "berape hargenyer?"

Gua: "2 dpt RM25"

Beliau: "murahnyerrrrr....you tau tk kat luat tu harge dia bla bla bla bla" *dh tk ingat sbb dia ckp laju sgt*

Gua: "you nak i beli lagi ke?"

Beliau: "nak! nak! nak! nak! nak!"

Gua: *terus patah balik ke tmpt jepun tu dan gelak sepanjang perjalanan. Si sepet ni kalau kemaruk biskut panda mmg mcm budak tk bersunat lg*

.
.
Gua smpi balik kt tmpt tu dgn si Sepet masih di dalam talian. Tangan kanan pegang phone and tangan kiri ade plastik bag berisi 2 kotak biskut panda yg dibeli sebelumnya. Dari jauh gua nampk apek si sales guy ni dah sengih2.
.
Gua: "err, bagi lagi 2 tin"

Apek: *terus bagi tanpa berbicara apa2...dan beliau masih sengih*
.
.
Selesai bayar gua masih on phone ngn si Sepet. Tangan kanan kiri penuh plastik bag.
.
Gua: "mesti orang ingat anak i banyak smpi beli 4 tin biskut panda"

Beliau: "hahahahaha..sedap la biskut tu. 4 tin baru RM50. Murahnyer.."

Gua: "dh tkde2. cukup 4 tin je. I tknk pg balik tmpt tu buat kali ketiga. CUKUP!"
.
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Si apek tu agaknyer mesti ingat gua ni berpacaran dengan budak umur 8 tahun

Saturday, October 2, 2010

Dodot

Budak kecik ni belikan bunga.
.
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dodot
.
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Budak kecik ni belikan jugak walaupun ia bukan secantik mana
.
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dodot
.
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Budak kecik ni belikan untuk kak long dia
.
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tak kira harga
.
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tak kira rupa
.
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Budak kecik ni hanya mahu kak long dia gembira
.
.
dodot

Bende2 Free Mmg Setim

Baru balik berpoye2. *Nur Faizura Ismail, congratz*
.
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Malas nk type but just wish to inform that september and early november are two wonderful months.
.
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*reasons*
.
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My birthday = 4 sept
.
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Since birthday, maka dpt barang2 free
.
.

.
*ini Helmet..eh bukan, HAMLET..ini sepet saya bagi*
.


.
*ini adik saya si muiz bagi*
.

.
*ini pun dia bagi*
.
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Early November cz of my convo. Tu je
.
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Pun dpt free things jugak
.
.

.

*ini sepet bagi*

.

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*ini budak echam and mumu yang kasik*
.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Meet Uncle Mail edisi II

***Uncle Mail sedang suka hati sbb kawan2 ain cakap beliau hensem***
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***mode beliau: kembang kempis***
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***debab tua mengambil peluang****
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.
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***"ayah, nak sneakers baru."***
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.
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***mode terkini beliau: sepak terajang***
.
.
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***debab tua hampa***

Meet Uncle Mail



Uncle Mail: "Ina, kawan kau tu tk reti nk salam2 ke? Tak reti nak salam ibu ngn ayah?"

Ina: *senyap*

Uncle Mail: "yang best tu bile ayah pandang dia, dia pandang je ayah balik. Ke dia ingat ayah ni tukang kebun?"

Zura: *berguling gelak*

Monday, September 20, 2010

Funny Aint It Part II

I can't demand for more
.
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*smiling ear to ear*
.
.
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I really can't

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

I am a man

I think I would look cute with a beard
.
.
seriously

Comparison

I've witnessed a fall. Suffered by my own blood, whom I shall refer to as the "Unlucky Lad". So bad it hurts almost every soul in the family. A fall caused by a woman. Whom I shall refer to as the "Butt-Face".
.
.
This Butt-Face used to be someone significant in my family. Someone loved by the Unlucky Lad. They seemed perfect for one another. They looked happy. They were blissed with children from their own flesh, whom I shall refer to as the "Yo-yo Siblings". They were...a family.
.
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I grew up watching their happiness. I laughed at their silly jokes about one another. I used to hug that Butt-Face, and everytime that happened, she would giggle and asked me to stop. I watched how her eyes fulled with love and joy whenever the Unlucky Lad was around. How she smiled at his presence. I watched all that.
.
.
But sky isnt always bright. Summer wont last forever.
.
.
Butt-Face cheated. On the Unlucky Lad. On the Yo-yo Siblings. On us. All of us, whom I shall refer to as the "Clan". Butt-Face is a liar. A cold hearted liar. Butt-Face is a bitch.
.
.
The moment the Clan found out about this, everybody went ballistic. All of us. We felt sorry for the Unlucky Lad. Sorry for the Yo-yo Siblings. Butt-Face went gracely without remorse. Without guilt. Butt-Face is a bitch.
.
.
The Clan made a pact. This has to stop. The Unlucky Lad needs to build his own wall again. Swag that moves. Chicks hunting. All that. Unlucky Lad must have a new life. Forget that Butt-Face. So we told him.
.
.
But I guess plans are just plans. Unlucky Lad finds it hard to let go. Hard to erase. Hard to delete. All memories, laughs, tears, everything he shared with a woman whom he used to call wife (I call her Butt-Face). Unlucky Lad is weak.
.
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At certain point I just want to present the Unlucky Lad with a bitch slap. Double bitch slap if I may. Just enough to wake him up. To let him understand, that he needs a WIFE in his life. Butt-Face was not a wife. She was just a woman. Not qualified to the heaven underneath your feet.
.
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I think about this so many times. Butt-Face is the eldest in the family and Unlucky Lad is the youngest. I am the eldest in my family and my other half, whom I shall refer to as the "Lucky Lad" is the youngest in his.
.
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Butt-Face and the Unlucky Lad used to care and love one another so much. I am sure that the Lucky Lad and I share the same passion.
.
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Butt-Face and the Unlucky Lad were the 'ying yang' couple. The same goes to me and the Lucky Lad.
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These similarities frighten me. I now panic.
.
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But hey, why should I?
.
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Butt-Face thinks with her arse, while I think with my brain.
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Butt-Face talks with her boobs, while I talk with my heart.
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Butt-Face is a cheap ho, while I am a great miss.
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Butt-Face's love was plastic. Mine is not.
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Butt-Face thinks that heaven is everywhere, while I know that heaven lies with your mother and husband.
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A note to the Unlucky Lad, please use your God given brain to think smart even though you have all the God given right to remain stupid.
.
.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

It's Funny...Really

It is hard being me. I have an ability which I can say not acquirable by many people. Ability to MENTAL BLOCK.
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I've been battling lotsa issues since kid. My sexuality, my curve, my interests, the likes and dislikes..bla bla bla. When people started to question, if I feel like answering then I'd explain. But, most of the times, I just mental blocked them.
.
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How?
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Simply by ignoring their questions and facial expressions, that's number 1 and next step is by placing an imaginative 'wall' inside my brain. Just to curb all those retarded quiries from invading my cell territory.
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Yup, THAT works everytime. But the ugly part of having this ability is you tend to be insensitive. Since my brain works the other way around, I believe each and everyone else's should be working the same way. I developed a new skill out of it...the COULDNT BE BOTHERED ability.
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How does it work?
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Since my brain cells were trained to prevent "retarded invasions", I have the tendency to shoosh away some feelings. When something bad happened and you should be sad..I feel normal instead. When your feelings are bruised by something or someone...I feel "fuck it", move along!
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THAT caused me troubles. I was often being labelled as the "insensitive Faiz" or "owh Faiz, the one with no emotion"
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Someone said to me, right to my face...
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" God created you without a heart "
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But now
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I slowly begin to feel, and it is akward at first. That grows everyday and though I feel delighted, it somehow makes me feel uncomfortable. Cz this is not me. I wasnt born like this. I wasnt raised with emotions. I built my own wall.
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Aint it funny?

Thursday, August 19, 2010

This is What I Feel and How I Feel It

I love you
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Full Stop

Friday, July 23, 2010

Rajin Betul Buat Entry Hari Ni

Ye saya mmg rajin
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Sekian

Sekalipun Hati Bentak Berdarah, You are Still a Twat

I dont need a bomoh to be happy, but I know you need a surgeon to move your brain and put it right where it belongs...your anus
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I dont need a bomoh to have someone as my other half, but I know you need a bridge somewhere for you to perform the ritual of "mandi-bawah-jambatan-kasik-buang-itu-siyal"
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I dont need my father to tell me how to behave myself, but I know you need any random human being to tell you "jangan la bingak sgt"
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I dont need NO ONE to tell me how fat I am, but I KNOW even with your skinny figure you will still stay as a twat
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Wanna know why?
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Cz dudes love meat!

Sometimes, less is More

At times, it can be vulgar
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It can be over
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It can be ridiculous
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But I dont mind to slow down
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At times, less is more
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So long that I know and you know
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So long that we both know

Monday, July 5, 2010

WTH

I'm just depressed
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PERIOD

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Kongratulasi dan Selebrasi Part II

faiz.amy.ina
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Congratz to my dearie cuzzy for getting hitched last week

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Kawen jua anda

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To my cuzzy ipar, welcome to the family :)

ina.faiz.amy








Thursday, June 24, 2010

Lemak Oh Lemak

Wa punyer trainer ckp wa badan pembaris. Dari atas sampai bwh sepesen je. Wa tanya tk bole kasik ade shape ke *in case la kalau wa tetibe kurus kn*. Dia jwb still akn sepesen sbb structure tulang wa mmg cm tu. *aiseymen, mmg betul la teori kwn2 wa yang ckp wa ni mmg lelaki pada kelahiran dulu*
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Wa skrg mmg agenda nak kasik peluh keluar je. Penat der tergedik2 atas treadmill haram jadah itu. Habes berbuai lemak2 kt paha wa. Ni, paha wa still vibrate tau.
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Wa sayang bai lemak wa. Wa dh tatang ibarat minyak full meter der. Siap dulu mlm2 ckp sebelom tido, "tkpe baby, biar la ape org nk ckp, you are still my everything". Skrg dh kene jadi zalim sket. Kene buang lemak. Ah, lantak la...daripade wa buang bayi???!!!
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Dh dh...lutut wa dh menggeletar dr td. Kene tido gamaknyer. Haha, wa ingat nk mintak Hajah Noriza urut ke ape yg patut. Tapi wa mcm dh boleh agak dia nk ckp ape..."meh aku pijak meh"...hmmm, tk jadi la nk mintak urut.
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Lagi satu wa saje la kan nk tanye, sejak bile awek wa pun merempit ni ha?

Saturday, June 19, 2010

Kongratulasi dan Selebrasi

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Ini budak suda songlap itu kilija...ah-moi, wa kasik salam kasih sayang pada lu. Konglatz ah...

Woi Woi

Pehal aku makin gelap???????????????????????
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PEHAL???????????????

Mengundang~~

The whole week I was in Indonesia. Nice place, nice people and most of all, nice food.
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Muka Haji Ismail tensi je cz dia sorg je kaum adam yang dikelilingi wanita-wanita dan seorang separa wanita. Gua tanya Haji Ismail, "ayah, ayah mesti tension cz anda sorg je lelaki". Haji Ismail hanya mengangguk kecil. Hahaha.
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Then smlm (sabtu) gua lepak melantak sushi ngn hairi *bukan nama sebenar*. Mak aii, santak melantak. Jumpe lak si Chima yg makan sorg2. Haha. Lepas sushi pg lak melepak ngn budak2 separa semak kt Shabistan. Gua kasik la diorg brg2 yg gua beli kt Indon nun. Si Yen dpt extra la sbb birthday beliau (yang sebenarnye lagi seminggu).
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Macam2 la berlaku time tu. Goss goss mmg terbaek la. Main game keldai lagi. Sape kalah kene makan nan cheese. Aiseymen. Perut gua mmg bangang dah smlm.
Overall, smlm mmg ngam. Lame tk jumpe bebudak tu. Hairi *bukan nama sebenar* pun gua lama tk jumpe. Kira ngam la.
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Tu je persembahan. Sekian.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Kan Aku Dah Cakap

Kan dah cakap haritu......hormon kinky sedang ade skrg
.....
lagi nak tanye kenapa lately jiwang
.....
aiseymen

Sunday, June 6, 2010

Demm

Those who know me very well know about this.
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I have a condition
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It happens RARELY
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But when it does
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Nothing can stop me
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*tarik nafas dalam2*
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My kinky hormones just kicked in
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Bear with me while it's there
p/s: please dont run and scream like a beaten drag queen just because you heard me talking like fasha sandha

Entry Tiada Judul

So many things happened lately
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Lessons learned
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I learned them the hard way
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That I now can no longer live in my own world
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Dwell in my own thoughts
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Think that nothing can stop me
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That I now must use 'the other half' of the brain
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Need to think about people
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About their insensitivities
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About their thoughts
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That I cant be the old me
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The "couldnt care less" one
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The "it doesnt bother me" type
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As I am now walking in a new journey
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I am not alone anymore
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Hey you
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Thanks for waking me up
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Thursday, June 3, 2010

YOU ARE THE ONLY EXCEPTION
..
..
CZ YOU ARE THE ONLY EXCEPTION

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Ngam

Malam tadi sewaktu memandu pulang aku berfikir
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Tuhan itu sudah beri terlalu banyak
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Tuhan itu sudah kabul doa sering kali
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Tuhan itu beri diri ini sebuah keluarga bahagia
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Tuhan itu beri diri ini ramai teman2 suka tawa
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Tuhan itu beri diri ini seorang lelaki untuk dicinta
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Walaupun jarang aku menadah tangan mengucap syukur
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Walaupun seketika aku lupa
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Kau sentiasa ada

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

When Your Heart Throws You A Bitch Fit

yeah I smile a lot lately
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and I do laugh profusely too
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bright face with insanely happy wrinkled eyes
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but inside
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****
*macam setan*
nak kate khunsa, 'itu' cuma ada satu je

Monday, May 24, 2010

Perbualan Gedik

Hajah Noriza sedang menonton drama. Tiba2 Haji Ismail muncul lalu ikut sama menonton. Memandangkan drama itu sudah separuh jalan, Haji Ismail tidak berapa mengerti jalan ceritanya. Lalu perbualan ini dirakam.
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Haji Ismail: "dia tu sape?"

Hajah Noriza: *menjawab soalan itu. Matanya masih di tv*

Haji Ismail: "kenapa dia mcm tu?"

Hajah Noriza: *menjawab soalan itu. Mata masih di tv*

Haji Ismail: "eh, kenapa macam tu pulak?"

Hajah Noriza: *soalan dijawab rimas* "eiii, abang ni jgn la tanya bnyk2. tgk jela"

Haji Ismail: "laa, mana la tau cite ni psl ape. Eh, itu sape?"

Hajah Noriza: *mata sudah di muka Haji Ismail* "iza tknk la cite! abang ni bising la. Dh tk dgr dia ckp ape"

Haji Ismail: "ala cakap la dia tu sape?"

Hajah Noriza: *buat dang je*

Haji Ismail: "haaa, kalau iza tknk ckp abang tknk cerita gosip. Abang ade cerita best ni"

Hajah Noriza: *mungkin bermonolog, kenape Tuhan, kenape?*

Aduh

Perbualan antara mangsa dan Hajah Noriza sebelum blackout.
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Mangsa: "ibu, megi ade tak?" *balik lmbt dan makanan semua sudah abes*

Hajah Noriza: "entah, kau pg tgk kt dapur" *sambil mentenet*

Mangsa: "tkde pun" *suara hampa sbb lapa dan megi tk jumpe*

Hajah Noriza: "abes la tu. pg la panaskan lauk"

Mangsa: "tknk. nnt kene kemas balik" *sila take note saya ini pemalas*

Hajah Noriza: "tau la kau tk mkn nasi tp ade sup sayur tu. pg panaskan" *sile juga take note, dia masih mentenet*

Mangsa: "malas"

Hajah Noriza: "eiii, ape la nak jadi kau ni?? pemalas betul. nnt kau dh kawen, suami kau pg keje pakai spender je!"

Mangsa: *bermonolog, apakah tetibe merepek mengenai spender dan suami? saya lapa, itu yg lebih penting bukan?*

*************

perbualan antara mangsa dan Haji Ismail sewaktu melepak di luar rumah semasa blackout.
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Mangsa: "ayah, jom pg drive thru" *masih lapa*

Haji Ismail: *menguap cam singa* "panaskan je lauk tu"

Mangsa: *hampa. tolong la faham saya ini pemalas*

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Ye ye Saya Tahu

Ramai tanye nape blog sudah tidak di'update'.
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Jawapan senang je, sbb dh start keje.
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Makanya susah sket.
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And as from now on, takde lagi entry merepek aka meraban dari saya.
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My blog will switch to its old mode - BOSAN -

Monday, May 17, 2010

Khas Buat Echam




- Budak kecik -

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Nasib Katil Tak Roboh

Alkisah bermula bile hajah Noriza terpekik terlolong panggil gua masuk bilik dia. Gua dtg la ingatkan ade kebakaran ke hape kan. Mau tknye, Hajah dah melolong cam tarzan. Sekali rupenyer Hajah Noriza ajak gua join dia ngn Haji Ismail tgk cite momok la wei..aiseh, wa pun mencanak la.
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Der, cite tu seram siyal, menggigil segale bulu2 wa ni. Wa pun usha kiri kanan, wah si debab kecik tkde la dlm bilik tu, so maksudnyer katil parents wa ade space la. Wa pandang Haji Ismail, wa cakap, "ayah, nk baring kat tgh2". Hajah Noriza tk kasik der, dia siap warning kate takut katil roboh. Tapi Haji Ismail sempoi, dia ckp, "dah2, meh sini".
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Haaa, imagine ade 3 tua bangka berselimut kelubung atas katil, Hajah Noriza (kiri), wa (tgh2) dgn Haji Ismail (kanan). Lampu bilik semua bukak tapi sikit2 membapok *ehem, itu Hajah Noriza ok, wa chill je*. Yang wa tk tahan, ayat Haji Ismail, "Iza, abang tk nmpk ape2 ni". Memang la tk nampak dah kalau lutut dia same level ngn tv. *paaapppppp!! tepuk dahi*
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Sikit lagi cite tu nak abes, wa pandang muke Hajah Noriza ckp, "ibu, zura tido sini la mlm ni. nak tangan~~~". *curik taktik debab kecik mintak lengan ibu utk dibuat bantal*. Hajah Noriza jawab, "aku siku kau nnt baru tau. Pg mintak tangan ayah kau". Wa pun pandang la Haji Ismail lalu ulang soklan same. "Kaki nak?", simple je respon dia.
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"Abang, farisya tu ade bau baby lagi kan?", Hajah Noriza tanye Haji Ismail. "A'ah ade. Tu yang best cium pipi dia". Wa senyum je..senyum ni..senyum lagi. "Ayah, zura ade bau baby tak????" *aiseymen bai, muke wa time tu mmg cam kambing sbb asyik senyum je*. "Bau tungkik", simple je respon beliau. *owh ye, Hajah Noriza ketawa suka hati ye kawan2*

Saturday, May 8, 2010

Heh

My mouth is vulgar at times. I do swear. I do have vulgar thoughts too.
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BUT
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dont push it too far
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"So, what kind of position do you like?"
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my answer
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"duduk antara dua sujud"

Nape la Yakin Sgt

Yakiner: "Orang2 yang name Hairi semua hensem2..."

Yakinee: *matilah*

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Come On!!

Please please....just stick forever.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Thank You

Chocs
+
Sakae Sushi
+
Teh Tarik
=
Loads of fun!

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Owh

*Haji Ismail sedang setim hisap rokok sebelum pegi keje. Lalu conversation ini bermula.*
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Mangsa: "Ayah, nak handphone baru"
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*Haji Ismail buat dang je*
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Mangsa: "Ayah, nak handphone baru!" *jerit sket*
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Haji Ismail: "Tak dengar!!!!!" *lalu terus masuk kete*
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*Mangsa sentap*
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*Tetibe dengar lak ade suare asing menyampuk*
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Hajah Noriza: "Sape suro kau berenti??? Kan dh tkde duit!"

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Susah Betul Jadi Perempuan Macho ni..

*Situasi adalah malam semalam. Sedang mengeliat sambil mncarot2 kerna assignment masih lagi tidak siap2*
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*Ade dua ekor budak kecik nama sasa dan yana sedang guling2 atas katil. Lalu si sasa dtg sambil isap botol dan berkata*
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"eeeiii, kak long ade bijik *sambil tangan memegang leher aku*...ayah sasa pun ade jugak"
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*aiseymen, bijik tu adalah halkum ye kwn2. Sudah pun diceritakan pada teman2 smlm, ade sorg mangkok ayun bole ckp*
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"cool bro (motif pggl aku bro), you ade faiz's apple"

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Lebam dah Lepak Umah ni

Wa tgh borak2 ngn si hatyai pasal hidup. Pasal hidup wa yang cam haram jadah ni semenjak tk keje. Haha. Bile borak2 ngn kak iju pondan pun ckp psl bende yang same. Dhtu, banyak lak cadangan2 membina org awam kasik utk wa.
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Haji Ismail: "Kau cabut la rumput2 rosak tu, sebaldi penuh ayah kasik la kau duit"
*aiseymen, dlm erti kate lain wa kene jadi gardener di umah sendiri*
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Hajah Noriza: "Kau ikot aku pg pasar, kau pg amek adik sekola, kau anta adik sekola, kau pegi sini, sana, situ, bla bla"
*dlm erti kate lain wa adalah driver dan bouncer dia*
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Ikmal Heidir: "Since you are so bloody free, you come to my house la jadik cleaner"
*omaigod, that is soooo kinky*
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Dodot: "ayong, esok ayong tak keje kan? Jom la kita pg chopping *shopping*"
*dia ingat aku ni kentut emas kot, dhla tk keje bnyk lak duit aku kan*
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Monday, April 26, 2010

Hidup Ni Kene Ade Berkat, Kalau Tak Baik Jangan Hidup

Ke hadapan N (nama sebenar),
Wa tengah fikir ni, lu ni cantik. Tapi dulu la time lu still pegang title makcik wa la kan. Lepas wa dgr cite2 pasal lu ni, aiseh wa rasa muka lu kalau compare ngn buntut kucing2 wa, buntut diorg lagi setail..
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Wa tengah fikir ni, lu ni baik. Tapi dulu la time lu still pegang title isteri pada uncle wa la kan. Lepas wa dgr cite2 pasal lu ni, aiseh wa rasa lu pi duduk zoo la, kasik tayang kepala lu kt rimau.
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Wa tengah fikir ni, pehal lu jadik cam ni eh? Nak kate uncle wa tk bagi cukup kasih sayang, hotak lu! Uncle wa dah sehabis mungkin jadi suami yang terbaik buat lu. Lu nak ape lagi? Tak cukup duit? Wa tk pernah la pulak tgk lu meleleh air liur sbb tk dpt ape yg lu nak.
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Wa rasa lu ni sangap jantan la. Kemaruk lelaki.
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Wa dgr lu bnyk hutang sekarang. Mane pegi jantan2 lu? Pgla mintak diorg kautim. Eh, lu jgn lupa hutang2 lu ngn uncle wa, ngn adik beradik dia, make sure lu kasik setel. Haa, kang tk psl wa buru lu pas tu terajang muka lu.
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Anak2 lu pe cer? Wa dgr skrg diorg pun malas nk bercakap ngn lu. Kire padan muka lu la kan. Sape suruh perangai bangsat sgt, sampai anak sendiri pun ckp lu penipu.
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Lu dengan jantan2 lu sila mati bile free.

Nak Makan Tapi....

Remember what I said last night, dont stress out too much. Please take a good care of yourself. I dont want you to fall sick.
And I bloody miss you so much.

Sile Sile

Quote Hajah Noriza untuk hari ini
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"bang, nak du du du~"
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Sesuai digunakan utk mengepau suami
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p/s: du du du tu adalah duit. Harap maklum

Aiseymen

Tadi angkut dodot pi klinik
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Pening and demam katenyer
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Then bwk pi check mata
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To my suprise, power belah kiri cecah 200
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omaigod
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Esok bwk pi jumpe pakar lak

Sunday, April 25, 2010

This Is Me When I'm Not Gooffing Around

You
Yes you
What I said last night, I mean it

Everything
Every single word
Please do not doubt it even a second

*Tengah Fikir*

Quote Hajah Noriza untuk direnungkan bersama hari ini
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"Aku kaki kau nnt baru kau tau. Kau pilih nak kaki mana, kiri ke kanan?"
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Sesuai digunakan untuk menerajang musuh.