It is hard being me. I have an ability which I can say not acquirable by many people. Ability to MENTAL BLOCK.
.
.
I've been battling lotsa issues since kid. My sexuality, my curve, my interests, the likes and dislikes..bla bla bla. When people started to question, if I feel like answering then I'd explain. But, most of the times, I just mental blocked them.
.
.
How?
.
.
Simply by ignoring their questions and facial expressions, that's number 1 and next step is by placing an imaginative 'wall' inside my brain. Just to curb all those retarded quiries from invading my cell territory.
.
.
Yup, THAT works everytime. But the ugly part of having this ability is you tend to be insensitive. Since my brain works the other way around, I believe each and everyone else's should be working the same way. I developed a new skill out of it...the COULDNT BE BOTHERED ability.
.
.
How does it work?
.
.
Since my brain cells were trained to prevent "retarded invasions", I have the tendency to shoosh away some feelings. When something bad happened and you should be sad..I feel normal instead. When your feelings are bruised by something or someone...I feel "fuck it", move along!
.
.
THAT caused me troubles. I was often being labelled as the "insensitive Faiz" or "owh Faiz, the one with no emotion"
.
.
Someone said to me, right to my face...
.
.
" God created you without a heart "
.
.
But now
.
.
I slowly begin to feel, and it is akward at first. That grows everyday and though I feel delighted, it somehow makes me feel uncomfortable. Cz this is not me. I wasnt born like this. I wasnt raised with emotions. I built my own wall.
.
.
Aint it funny?
