Me and My Past

I was flipping through my old diary [deciding to throw it away tonite] and fascinating really cz page 53 was about the old me. Before I reached 16. Before I became the new me. The meeting with the counselor was aite. She didnt say much. Didnt ask much. Didnt speculate much. It all started with a stare. A deep one. We were smoking silent for a while. Looking at the ceiling, re-arranging books on the table [it was me...that counselor, well she was still staring..with a smug face]

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She asked, finally..."Awak tau kenape saya panggil?". I nodded. Easy. Cz they juz needed someone to pin. It was something i didnt bother to breath out. Coudnt care less. "Awak pengawas kan?"...hold it there babe. First you wasted almost 15 minutes with your "I-am-gonna-eat-you-alive" staring, and still you have the ball to ask me that question? "Saya pakai baju biru kn?" was my answer.

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"Awak tau kn pengawas ada tanggungjawab? Seorang pengawas tak boleh berkelakuan tk sepatutnya" I kept mum. "Bukan saya mula dulu. Kenapa saya je kene panggil?" I was starting to feel annoyed. Told you that they needed somebody to pin. "Kalau nk hukum pelajar, guru disiplin akn panggil. Tapi saya bukan guru disiplin kn?" She said, kinda dancing to my steps.

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God, the story is ball-chaining long. Well, it turned up to be that the counselor found out that I had a terrible temper problem that I had to be enrolled into anger management sessions. The fact that I told her I was learning Tae-Kwon-Do kinda freaked her out. [Not that I was gonna whack someone with a dining chair...hehe]

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The 3 days session was aite. Like I said she didnt ask much, didnt say much and didnt speculate much. But up till now I can still remember perfectly what she had asked me to do. "Senaraikan semua sifat buruk yang ada pada awak yang awak nk buang". Page 57 says:

1. Panas baran melampau

2. Susah nk bergaul dengan orang

3. Anggap ramai itu semak

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She then asked me to fold the paper and burn it [cliche]. Counseling + anger management class was a real deal. Looking back, if it wasnt because of the classes, I wouldnt be the person I am now. If it wasnt because of the sessions, I would have been an arse/twat/moron. No one would believe me everytime I verbal it out. Cz what they see is what is now. They didnt see me then.

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To puan Counselor [sorry I forgot your name], thanks for the days. Thanks for making me realize that blue uniforms come great responsibilities.

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Page 62 about the dining-chair-whacking story. HAHA