Berbudilah kepada Tanah

Ignore the title.

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So we all bid farewell to 2010. Let's review my 2010 shall we?

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January 2010:

Waiting patiently for March to come.

Discussion every Tuesday night at Sushi King Sooka for Iju-Jimie's wedding.

YM with Mary in the office everyday.

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February 2010:

Waiting not so patiently for March to come.

Iju-Jimie's wedding was a total blast. Everyone had fun.

And for the first time in my life, I didnt fall wearing heels.

YM with Mary in the office...yes everyday.

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March 2010:

March came!!! Me and Iju we said bye bye to Mohamed Ridza & Co. Damn it was a relief!

Ayah got super pissed off. Spent the whole night driving and talking to Hairi in tears.

27/3/2010 - my significant date.

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April 2010:

Officially unemployed. Sending resumes like sending wedding cards.

Ibu's bibik at home.

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May 2010:

Officially a solicitor in Cheang & Ariff. Can no longer YM with Mary.

Iju got in as well in Edlin Ghazaly on the same day.

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June 2010:

Jakarta retreat.

2 years of studying officially ended in this month.

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July 2010:

Amy's wedding.

The only one excluded for the Pangkor trip. Demm~

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August 2010:

The first Ramadhan as someone's other half.

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September 2010:

My birthday.

My first Syawal as someone's other half.

Trip to PD was awesome though it was only for a short period of time.

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October 2010:

Listened to Maher Zain for the first time.

My LLM convocation took place.

The month that made me realized that I cant no longer be like this.

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November 2010:

Trip to Langkawi was planned.

Got excited about it.

Figured that few people are just anal.

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December 2010:

Trip to Langkawi cancelled. Demm~

Went to someone's house introduced to as someone's other half.

Googled Manggis Production.

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Yawn~

Things Arent Always How We Want Them to Be

"when you are getting married kang jgn lupa jemput aku eh"

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Breaks my heart

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That sentence

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Each and every word

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How I wish that things will be just how they used to

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But I know we cant get everything in life

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Things are different now I know. But it changes nothing. You and I, we are still friends.

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And yes, you are invited to my wedding

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Do come

Dios, ayúdame

No ignorar el título.
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Me siento realmente como alguien dar una bofetada de buena perra. Como realmente.
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Es la persona más snob que he conocido. Aún más interesante, él es mi miembro de la familia!!!!
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Mierda~

I'm doing it because IT IS my work. I'm no Paris Hilton

Dont ignore the title, it does mean something.

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So, people know how kiatsu I am when it comes to my job. I am completely a different person the moment I step into the office. I dont go chit chatting whenever I feel bored, I dont find any pleasure of gossiping with any of my fellow mates. I just dont.

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Yeah, so I guess I am that boring.

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People always wonder, how come my job seems and sounds far more stressful compared to others? They are lawyers too..well, I dont want to comment on that cz for me, it is subjective. It depends on what sort of portfolio you are carrying with you.

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Yeah, I am that boring.

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"tak payah nk keje kuat2 sgt..nnt dh kawen tempat kt dapur jugak"

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Sounds familiar aint it?

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This is my public declaration:

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You are a complete dimwit for having that thought in that sorry brain of yours. When we are urged to think outside the box, you find it more comfortable to stay inside your pitiful sty. Your brain fails to develop, your mentality remains stagnant.

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"tak payah keje kuat2 sgt..nnt dh kawen suami kan ade nk support"

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This is my public announcement:

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If it is the God's will that your husband dies, then how? Mau makan apa? Batu bata masak sweet sour? Lalang goreng belacan? Kayu 3 rasa?

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I dont work because I am forced to. I work because it is the right thing to do. I work because I am no Paris Hilton. I am no heiress. I dont get allowance every month just by spreading my legs and partying. I get paid because I work.

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Aku ini Wanita Biasa

Ignore the title.

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Today is Thursday and I'm on leave.

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Dont yeay first cz for the first time ever I dont feel excited at all. I'm supposed to be somewhere with a bunch of someones having a good something to be enjoyed. But *sigh*...better luck next time.

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So yeah, I'm on leave today and tomorrow but haih *sigh*

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BUT, I'll meeting my juniors today and I know my day will be better.

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*still sighing*

merry Ho Ho Ho!

Ignore the title.

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This isn't about Christmas, or the holidays

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I think I miss Ciku

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Yup yup, I definately miss Ciku

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Btw, Haizad is getting married tomorrow and I wont be there to congratulate him

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It's been ages since the last time we met

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I remember the time when he left us for New Zealand

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It was a long wait

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Then he came back for a while, for summer break

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Then he left again

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It was a long wait

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The next thing we know, here he was finally coming back home. To us

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But our joy didnt last long

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He was transferred to Banting

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It is a long time

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And now he is getting hitched and I wont be around for it

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Demmit!

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And I still miss Ciku!

And I will Pray for you

Nik Suhaimi

1974 - 2010

.I received news about your passing. I was shocked. Indeed shocked.

.I shall never forget your jokes.

.The way you talked.

.The way you laughed.

.I shall never forget.

.Nik Suhaimi bin Nik Hassan.

.May you rest in peace.

.Al-Fatihah.

Kenang Daku Dalam Doamu

Friends, I dedicate this song for you.

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All of you

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*dont worry, I'm no Alviss Kong*

Again, Why Am I Still Awake?

This is once and for all. Those who are reading, I hope you dont come back to me asking me this stupid question again.
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I mean, why is it so hard for some people to believe it?
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Just because I sound kinky most of the time with no apparent reason, it doesnt mean that I am that.
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*inhale*
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*exhale*
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Yes I'm still a virgin
Yes I dont drink
Yes I dont masturbate
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Sorry to dissappoint you but yeah.
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And stop asking me to go clubbing with you cz trust me, you will be embarassed.

It's Midnite But Why Am I Still Awake?

Do you know how it feels like to use someone to get rid of the feelings that you have for another someone?

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It sucks

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Big time

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I am sorry

And I'm Still Turned On

Ignore the title.

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So I talked to Ciku *bukan nama sebenar* on my way back to sungai buloh. About life, today and the future. I must say, talking to Ciku does enlighten me on certain aspects. How drastically people can change once they have found a purpose in life. How maturity is not only apparent from your conducts but from your thoughts as well.

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I was taught differently by my old man. I was raised to understand people's needs, to not being bloody judgmental, to feel what is ought to be felt by your brain instead of your heart. I was raised to be normal.

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Yes I dont know how it feels like to help your family by selling kuih from house to house, or to break your fasts under the street lamps far from your family, or to be a caddy just to pay for your school fees. I dont know anything about that.

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But I understand.

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Because my old man did all of the above without even complaining. He didnt see problems as obstacles but rather opportunities.

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So, coming back to Ciku. Why I said Ciku enlightens me? Because Ciku reminds me of my old man. Ambitious.

When My Blogging mode is turned ON

Ever since I changed the template and almost every single thing about my damn blog, I find my blogging mood kicks in everytime I have the chance to online.

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I was reading the life of John Lennon when I realized that I sort of abandoned my passion for quality books for quite some times. Instead, I found solace in Ujang and Gila2 (and I know this one particular someone who hates it when I buy them). I started to count every single book that I have and sniffed the pages.

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I remember how Haji Ismail used to bring home the Star everyday and asked me to read out loud the news. I was eight and reading the Star was a complete hell. He literally forced me to define each word by writing the meaning on top of the sentence. No, he didnt buy me classic storybooks like Cinderella or Beauty and the Beast or Sang Kancil and bla bla bla...he brought me only the Star.

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The passion for reading developed fast. From the Star I moved to light reading materials. I opted for books while my sisters decided to go for magazines. Ujang and Gila2 were forbidden in my room. They were never in my "to-buy-list".

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Things changed I guess. My current career doesnt really provide me with ample times to actually sit down and enjoy the pleasure of reading lines by lines and understanding paragraphs by paragraphs. I spend most of my weekends working and working and more working.

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So tonight while re-arranging my stuff on the drawer, I came across the life of John Lennon. The book I bought somewhere 2 months back. It does put a smile on my face. Like really.

God, I love Working!

Yessss....from the bottom of my heart~

I'm Getting Emo-er Each Entry

If only I have the moral strength to tell it out loud to your face, God trust me I would.

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I wonder most of the times, what on the mother-fu**er earth do you see in her? All the lies, all the back stabbing..come on!!

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She is whoring her worthless anal self around, being completely twathead, ignoring her own flesh and blood...while you act both characters as mom and dad, running here and there trying to ensure that your kids have a place to sleep and food to eat while you busting your sorry ass working.

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She does what?

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FREAKIN' NOTHING!

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And you, yes YOU..can still be so soft.

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Funny

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Really funny

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Cz like I said earlier, maturity doesnt always come with age.

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You can be a bloody 40 and still stupid.

Oh Happy Days~

Here we Go

*Taking a deep...an extremely deep breath*

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Go!

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I know people are just being concerned. Thanks really but at least try to understand my situation. It sounds simple, it sounds like it is the right thing to do at this point of time taking into consideration my age and the environment I'm living in. Yes yes, most of my friends have gone through it and the same goes to one of my cuzzies. Owh well, another one in January 2011.

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It's not that I'm not being sensitive or cautious about the whole thing but like I said, try to be in my shoes for a second. The topic I'm talking about right now is no monkey business. It is not some sort of entertainment that people can just simply ask me to do. It is sacret, it is pure, it is about achieving a purpose in your life. You cant just simply throw yourself into it as if it is for amusement.

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Like previously mentioned in my earlier entry, I have witnessed a fall. It is not about being afraid to commit or feeling so negatively about the entire idea. It is about finding the right time and the right moment. Now, for me it is no longer about finding the right someone. Someone to be called the oher half as I have already found him. Now, it is all about getting to know one another more, to understand each other's needs, sensitivities and all that..why? Cz you will be spending the rest of your life with him or her. Embarking on a different journey once you have put your soul into it. Like I said, it is no monkey business.

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I want to be ready. Fully prepared. I dont want to merely step into this different world because I was asked to. I need to be ready. Dont get me wrong. Trust me, though I may look masculine/guy-ish/a bit gay from outside, I am actually very feminine/girlish/a bit kinky inside. To be with someone I love is all I can ask for. I just need time.

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The end

Tsk tsk tsk

It is just retarded to think that maturity doesnt really come with age.
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Funny cz though you were born as the eldest in the family, but the way your brain works seems like an infant.
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You define fun as talking smack about people.
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Wow, that sounds amusing..really!
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How old are you again?
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25?
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When?
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Owh, this year??
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Then how come you sound and act like a bloody 15?
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Ahhh, mental constrain is it?
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*tsk tsk tsk*